An Ocean of fire- the isolation of carers in a crowded world

Cast into a boundles desolation bordered by an an insurmountable ocean of fire by a vengeful god, the great tragedy of Milton’s protagonist in his epic Paradise Lost had not solely to be the privations of his surroundings or even the suffering of his companions, it was simply that with heart breaking ease, in an act of incredible cruelty- his home,the illuminating love of his father, the perfect paradise of the world itself where all to remain unobtainable, unreachable and yet extant and in plain sight. I’ve found myself experiencing the inverted reality of this , the isolation within the crowd, to be in the heart of a society whos drive to succeeded, achieve and control has left me wondering what place my son will find in it when I’m gone. How will his learning difficulties play out in a world driven by division and unrealisable illusions ? A society every bit bound by the cult of the self as Lucifer had been by a sea of flames. So fierce, so strong are the desires to obtain more, to become respected it seems that my future bringining up a son living at the periphery of society and yet in plain sight of it, will be utterly trackless. There are no ambitions to play out, no prestige to feed a perpetually hungry ego with. Over the past few years a slow realisation of possibly Milton’s most profound statement has repeatedly surfaced from the memory reading his poem many years ago…” the mind is its own place and within it, it can create a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven”. Ultimately I create my own world- an act of defiance of profound potential and childlike simplicity. The heart of my anxiety had simply lain in the demand that our lives should conform to shapes I’m told it should fit into. Keep it, we’re going our own way……

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